Friday, December 9, 2011

If I cut my arm off, it's not going to grow back! This is no different...

I understand people get uncomfortable when the CNBC and infertility subject comes up.  But stupid comments rather than heartfelt silence happen all too often.  This has happened quite a few times over the last year, but I finally came up with a comparison.

When discussing being infertile with people, many start with the giddy-happy-laughing comments of "Oh, don't worry, you will get pregnant - it just takes time." - "You're trying too hard, just let it happen."  etc, etc, etc...   Yes, laughing, smiling, giddy stupid school girl attitude.  All of this being said AFTER I explain that I CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN.

Only once recently was I asked what was my specific health issue that is keeping us from getting pregnant.  FINALLY!  Someone had the guts to ask!  And I don't mind someone honestly asking!  (Thank you JSM, I love you!)

My tubes are blocked with scar tissue.  There are guesses at why:  ovarian cysts, endometriosis, etc...  but the point still stands.  If the tubes are blocked, nothings getting through!  Even IVF treatments ($17,000 per treatment) were less than a 10% chance of taking (and less than a 50% chance of carrying to term).  Not worth having us go bankrupt over.

But point being, MY PLUMBING IS BROKEN.   How can people still sit there and say "Oh you will get pregnant, don't worry." 

Comparison:  If I chop my arm off, it's not going to grow back...  So it's the same as saying "Oh don't worry, your arm will grow back!!!!"  NO IT WON'T!!!!!   My fertility is not coming back!!!!

Educating about CNBC is to teach people that it's ok to have heartfelt silence in a conversation. 

That heartfelt silence means soooo much more than words said without thinking.  (Lawrence said Job's friends showed wisdom before they opened their mouths...)  So often we stop thinking about what really matters, and just blurt out...  (Talking to hear our heads rattle.) 

It's ok to stop, think, and give your friend that heartfelt silence...  and a hug.