Saturday, March 29, 2014

Stupidity... "Infertility Is Part Of Evolution"

(Warning dear fellow CNBC, do not read this if you are sensitive today.) 

Get ready to see the snarky side of me...

Some people we meet are encouraging and a wonderful strength in our lives dealing with Childless Not By Choice.  When I tell someone about the negative comments we hear about not being able to have children, they are shocked that someone would even voice it, let alone think it.  Then we meet someone like this... 

A dear friend was faced with the stupidity of this selfish society.  A woman, who has children, publicly-openly stated her 'opinion' on why some women can't have children.  THIS IGNORANT WOMAN IS WHY WE NEED TO EDUCATE ABOUT INFERTILITY AND CNBC.  

At a recent lunch outing, this woman started stating her 'opinion' that the reason some people cannot have children is because it's evolutions way of controlling the population.  That there is something wrong with them and it's nature's way of weeding out.  And she added that they should be happy they don't have to worry about what parents have to worry about.

What?  That isn't just ignorance (Webster's definition of 'not knowing'), that is flat out stupidity.  And she openly vocalizes this to anyone who would listen.  Although I have never hit someone in my life, I dare her to say this in a room with a few of the CNBC families...  It might not end pretty.

It's one thing to be an encouragement to someone, it's another to tear them down. Whether you believe in God (like we do) or you believe in evolution, there is still a human decency that you learn to 'hold your tongue' and not tear someone down.  

It's the hurtful comments that we hear every day that make this even harder.  But...  it's people like my friend, who share her children with us, that lift us back up and make the ignorant woman crawl back to her own selfish little world.  

I call her selfish because she obviously doesn't appreciate her children or home, wishing she didn't have to 'worry about' the things a mother should.  Many of us would give anything to have those worries.  But with adoption being cost prohibitive or your health not being strong enough to have children....  many of us can't achieve those dreams.  

I pray that this woman's eyes and heart are opened to her callous words and attitude.  She could be an encouragement to someone, instead she chooses to cut someone down.   

"...every careless word that people speak they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgement."  Matthew 12:36

This is why I openly talk about being Childless Not By Choice and teach (or put in their place) people who do not know. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Spring is almost here... where is my hole to hide in?

So...  Spring is almost here and I am already looking for my hole to hide in.  Why?!?! 

This year's CNBC anxiety started a little early.  When waiting in the doctors office to be called back, and everyone starts chatting in the lobby, going around the room asking "how many kids do you have?" or "when are you due?".  I slouch down in my chair and hope no one calls on me, like a kid who hasn't done their homework.  I can't pick up a magazine because they are all about pregnancy and motherhood (yes I was at that doctor). 

I handled Christmas pretty well, but now we have Easter and Mother's Day to deal with, which can be worse.  Easter started weighing heavy on me this week.  Yes there are the Easter church services, but beyond that we have nothing to do that day, no kids to hide eggs for, etc.  Everyone's plans that day are wrapped around kid's and egg hunts.  (I am NOT downing anyone for that!)  But...  when people ask what we are doing for Easter, what do I tell them? 

Having those feelings about Easter made me look forward to Mother's Day?  Uggghhhhh... 

Yes, I can be strong a lot of the time and talk to people who ask about CNBC, but sometimes my best coping mechanism is to walk away.  I gather up my heart, trust in God, and walk away from it all.