I have had two people write me recently expressing their frustrations, depression, and lack of will to go on - all because they can't have children. I wish I could sit down with them, look them in the eyes, comfort their pain, but give them hope also...
One, the husband was contemplating divorce because maybe who ever his wife then married could give her a child. Gracious NO! Another flat out saying they couldn't find the will to go on... Again, society has brainwashed us to believe only by obtaining certain things in life will we ever be happy. What a lie!!!
First off, divorce should not be an option.
Unfortunately, having children is not in God's plan for everyone. Why?
We may never know. But we have to be able to accept these things to move
forward and cherish our marriage. Society puts alot of demands on a
couples that are not true. Having children does not always make a happy
marriage. You two together can make a happy marriage. Yes, adoption is
always an option. If you feel that is what God wants you to do. But it
is OK to not have children.
Does it still hurt? Yes, sometimes. But
you and your spouse can be so happy, thriving on each others love, it can
fill the void you once had. God gives us marriage to complete each other. If I keep reaching out for a child, something that isn't in the cards for me, then I neglect and damage my husband, our love, our marriage... Am I telling him HE is not enough???
That is so true... by neglecting a spouse, you are telling them they are not enough.
Yes, we WILL and DO go through grief, depression, hurt, pain, everything... But at the end of the day - we have to stand up, dust ourselves off, cherish and love our spouse. Never taking for granted their love and the life you have.
Hello dear, I chanced upon your blog. Its very well written I must say. Thank you for sharing. I am unable to conceived due to scarring of my tubes either. I was diagnosed with PID 8 years ago. Before getting married with my husband, I did confessed to him that there are chances we are unable to have children in the future. He told me that having a children is god's gift to human. Sometimes, I would just cry to myself
ReplyDeleteasking god 'Why must it be me'? I just got married last year in November. Everyone is asking me whether am pregnant or not. I just told them that jokingly, I prefer cats. It hurts deep down but I just have to live life gracefully. I have 2 beautiful nieces whom I treated as my own and am planning to get a scottish fold cat which my husband and I are extremely excited about. Your lovely blog has indeed brought meaning to my life. Cant wait for your next entry.
May god bless you.
Lynn
SINGAPORE
Thank you for the encouragement. My husband and I have been married eight & a half years. We only used contraception the first year. It has been a long battle. We were just "officially diagnosed" as infertile. It doesn't answer the questions, it has always been us as a couple unable to conceive. We are very blessed and I am glad to have found your blog.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am a CNBC woman who just came across your blog and read that you have blocked fallopian tubes so I wanted to tell you something I was recently told by a fertility specialist. There is a company called Clear Passage Physical Therapy that do massage that can break up the adhesians/scar tissue that cause things such as blocked fallopian tubes. I guess it wouldn't work for everyone, and I hope my mentioning it doesn't offend you. I just thought I don't want to not tell you in case it is something you might like to try. Lots of love to you,
ReplyDeleteSarah
I'm so glad you started this blog. I have reached my late 40's without ever having a child. I just wanted to enjoy travelling, marathoning and being selfish early on, then - OOPS! I'm 47 years old! Since almost every movie, tv show, person SEEMS to have kids, it is impossible to escape!
ReplyDelete