"Disqualified"

One day I feel that I am slowly climbing the ladder, making steps mentally to stay above this diagnosis, then I get knocked back down.  Disqualified.  That's a new label/name for me.  

I received a phone call today from my cardiologist, that they are doing a study on the affects of adult congenital heart disease on child-bearing age women.  Would I be interested?  That I qualify for the study.

SURE!  Anything to help understand the problems women with heart problems face.  

The lady on the phone said she had reviewed my file and they had deemed me eligible.  Fine.  So we start chatting and I explained how my cardiologist, in THEIR office...  helped me find an fertility doctor, but sadly we have been diagnosed with infertility.

Her voice got really soft and she said "Oh....  You don't have children?"  

"Uhhmm, no.  That's what my file says."

She then looks at my file again, and finds where it shows I have no children.  She is sorry but I am disqualified.  

Yes, I wish she had done her job better and looked at my file fully before 'qualifying' me.    No, I did not yell at her.  My voice got soft and I thanked her calling anyways, goodbye.  

I pray she looks fully at the files before she calls the next person, just because we are 'of age' doesn't mean we have children.  

"Disqualified".  I'm going to curl up in my blanket fort for a while.