We are doing well, doing well, doing well, doing well.....
BAM!!!!! Hit the wall.
So often with not having children, out of no where comes the emotions, depression, doubt and every thing hitting you all at once. But I was doing good!?!?! What happened??? Prayers for strength tonight accepting our choices and position in life (Childless Not By Choice), praying and accepting "it is well with my soul"....
BAM!!!! Who threw that wall out there again?
Tonight is one of those nights that I feel someone is beating me with a baseball bat of emotions. Questioning "Why not me?" "Why can't I have a child?" "Is this what you really want for me God?" Oh my lands I just questioned God!!! Yeah. And deep down I still hear and repeat to myself the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul".
I may not like it, I may have to learn to be content with it, but it is well with my soul.
I still trust HIS will for my life and accept that there are things I cannot see or understand.