Monday, March 20, 2017

BAM!!! Hit the wall...

We are doing well, doing well, doing well, doing well.....  

BAM!!!!!   Hit the wall.

So often with not having children, out of no where comes the emotions, depression, doubt and every thing hitting you all at once.  But I was doing good!?!?!  What happened???  Prayers for strength tonight accepting our choices and position in life (Childless Not By Choice), praying and accepting "it is well with my soul"....  

BAM!!!!   Who threw that wall out there again?

Tonight is one of those nights that I feel someone is beating me with a baseball bat of emotions.  Questioning "Why not me?"  "Why can't I have a child?"  "Is this what you really want for me God?"  Oh my lands I just questioned God!!!  Yeah.  And deep down I still hear and repeat to myself the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul".

I may not like it, I may have to learn to be content with it, but it is well with my soul.

I still trust HIS will for my life and accept that there are things I cannot see or understand.


  1. I feel your pain. I still have those moments at times but HE always gets me through:).



  2. Hi I just found this blog thank you Jesus - after hitting the wall a lot lately. My husband and I had a missed pregnancy over 12 years ago. The wall can jump out of nowhere and I just have to cling to God's promises and His will and trust Him in all things, for all things and through all things. The Lord has reminded the wall is like any other mountain - speak to it and it has to come down in the name if Jesus! Amen and thank God for using you to bless me!